Torn

Do you ever feel like you don't do enough or don't do the right things?  Those are my feelings this morning.  As I have explained earlier in my ramblings I have been working on the hot tub.  Seriously I think this hot tub has taken over.  What I really should do is light it on fire but I can't seem to bring myself to admit that it has kicked my butt. It has become my own little personal obsession.  In reality all I have left to do is to glue some hoses together and hook the electrical back up but if you were to ask my family it has taken over.  Like tonight for instance.  My sweet wife wanted to go to dinner and a movie but I want to work on the hot tub.  I knew I stepped in it the moment I said that but I feel a sense of urgency to finish the hot tub due to the weather and that tomorrow I have already committed to smoking a turkey for one of my wife's friends. I hope that she will understand.  Maybe now you will understand why I am feeling the way I am.  Marriage is a fickle thing really, you take two people with two different mind sets and views of how life should be and stick them together in a house and say "make it work".  My first marriage didn't work, or maybe I should say we didn't work "together" but this 2nd marriage really seems to mesh.  As Alisha would say "just do as you are told and you will be fine".  Which of course leads me back to feeling like I haven't done the right things.  At the end of the day the only things we should ask ourselves is did I learn or grow, and how did I treat others.  I believe that if I follow those two things then I have accomplished something.  Alisha thank you for being my wife and sticking with me through all the obsessive moments I have.  I think dinner and a movie would be great!