Snow and all that good stuff

I left for work this morning in darkness and falling snow.  this time of year seems to bring on some melancholy feelings and no shortness of anxiety for the holiday season.  I pray the kids understand this year is extremely tight moneywise and christmas will be spare.  I look forward to the time where I can enjoy the holiday season without feeling like a failure in the gift giving arena.  Is it possible to enjoy the holiday season?  I'm sure there have been holidays that I have enjoyed before but this morning I am short on holiday memories.  Ok, I take that back.  I do have one holiday memory that I will always remember and cherish and it has nothing to do with giving of gifts.  It's a selfish memory I guess because it's a memory of getting a gift.  My sweet wife bought me a smoker for christmas and I have cooked to my hearts content.  I think that was the best gift I have ever been given.  There is nothing better in my book than hearing the kids ooohh and aaaahh over ribs I have smoked or turkeys or canadian bacon.  I love cooking for anyone that will eat my finished product.  I smoked a turkey the other day for Alisha's friend from work, that was a good day.  I hope that some day my children will come to me and tell me how grateful they are for all the holidays that Alisha and I tried our best to provide for, that will make the holidays more meaningful I think.  Not that they haven't mind you they have.  Alisha and I have been blessed with the best kids with great attitudes and always a positive attitude it's just me that feels the anxiety of providing.  Maybe I have that seasonal affective disorder I have heard about where you get depressed as the seasons change.  I don't think that I am depressed just getting ready to hibernate.  I do have one more thing to say though then I will stop.  Even though Christmas has been so commercialized and turned into a "feeding frenzy" I don't ever forget how important the Savior is for this time of year and in my life, I'm glad to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and grateful for the opportunity to raise a family.  Now let's go get some hot chocolate.