Merry Christmas

I was talking with a friend the other day and he happened to mention that he has gotten on here and read this blog a couple of times.  He told me that there was alot of fluff but not much substance in my writings.  My comment back to him was I was just trying to spread some cotton candy around.  There might not be much substance to my musings but I enjoy getting some words out of my head.  Last night I drove with my 17 yr old up to Ogden to pick up my 14 yr old daughter from her mother.  during our drive he told me about his plans to become a hermit and live in the mountains of Wyoming.  I told him good luck.  I think what he really wants to do is go in the military and in my opinion that is a good choice.  I remember when I was his age I really didn't have any idea what I would do for my future and working in the aerospace industry never even crossed my mind yet here I am 20 years later content with my choices. 

I smoked some chicken brats the other day that I had made and I was quite happy with how they turned out.  Tomorrow I'm smoking 15 pounds of honey cured bacon I have had in the fridge for a week curing and all I asked my wife to get me for christmas was a nice big brisket.  I think I am addicted to this cooking thing I do know that it really gives me great pleasure to cook for other people. 

I also wanted to wish any one who reads this blog a merry Christmas.  I am a Christian and I believe in Christ so to me this time of year brings out some very personal feelings for me and I am grateful for the opportunity to share these feelings with my family and friends and anyone else who would listen.  I love my Savior and am humbled that He would take the time to listen to me and to help me like He does. 

Have I told you lately?

Have I told you lately how difficult Christmas is for me?  The anxiety and stress levels just rise like crazy for me when I start to think of the financial burden and the feeling that I am inadequate.  I'm sure that I should go to counseling for this.  Maybe there is a phobia out there that I can say I belong to.  I know that my children don't require much and this feeling of inadequacy comes from me but I just can't help it.  My wife and I are pretty lucky to have the kids we do.  They are some of the most mature and responsible children I have ever been around and I'm pretty sure I am biased about it but aren't you supposed to be when it comes to your children?  I was explaining my feelings to Alisha the other day and she gave me some wonderful advice.  Here it is in its purest form: "don't worry about it".  Now seriously how could I go wrong with that kind of advice!  I took it to heart and for the last few days I have tried to change my thoughts and feelings about this time of year and I have finally come to a conclusion.  I suck at change. 

Last night my 17 yr old son, Keaton, had a choir concert at the high school.  he is a pretty good singer and while Alisha and I were sitting there listening it took me back to my high school days when I sung in the
a cappella choir.  I went to Bear River High School and Carl Ashby was our director.  I loved that class and when I looked at my son up there singing he looked so much like me when I was his age.  I had alot of good friends and experiences in choir and I am grateful for the experiences.  Maybe I need to be more grateful for all that I have.

Isn't that what this season is all about?  Being thankful for what you have and who you have in your life instead of worrying about being inadequate...  hmmm, I guess I have more things to think about.  If I don't get on here before christmas let me say merry christmas or happy holidays to anyone that reads this.  And to my wife that I know will read this, you have made my life complete.  Enjoy the diamond earrings that will be under the tree.